I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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