dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
