well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.