at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
