normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
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How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.