remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize