when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
