can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
