I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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