I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
