My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
