Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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