just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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