I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
