im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
