So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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