I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
