did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
