the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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