Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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