How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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