It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
