my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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