I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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