I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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