"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
