I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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