what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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