I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
