then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize