you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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