your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
