i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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