just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
