Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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