Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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(916): View more from California

Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.

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(206): View more from Washington

I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.

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(515): View more from Iowa

As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground

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(604): View more from British Columbia

BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."

(604): View more from British Columbia

WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS

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