So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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