all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize