I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
