i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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