So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
