The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
