I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
