ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I miss vodka workout Fridays
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize