david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
