I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
