from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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