Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
either way he was missing a nipple.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize