i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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