You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize