If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
