I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
