How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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