That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
