Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
