i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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