i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
