I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
