Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
