I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
