I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize